Holiday
by sequence to destruction
Summary: Harry is left broken and sad after the final battle. Sirius and Hermione will help him get better. so they take him on a holiday. But will they find something more at the end of their holiday?
1. harry

Why?

Why did people become bitter? Why do people die? Why?

Hermione buried her face and cried. Ron was gone, and Harry would talk of nothing but revenge, to avenge his best friend.

"what's wrong Hermione?" a voice said.

Hermione looked up, quickly wiping away her tears. It was Sirius. He looked better than anyone who had com out of the war, though that might be said because he looked so bad from his time in Azkaban and the veil.

Hermione had put a lot of research into figuring out the veil, and had eventually worked out that the veil was just an alternate universe. She found where the muggle beliefs of hell came from.

She came out of her stupor as Sirius pulled her into a crushing hug, whispering in her ear, meaningless comforts.

He pulled back when Hermione had stopped crying. "That's better. No need to cry."

"Yes, there is!" she cried, "Ron is gone! My parents are gone! Harry, Harry… Harry hasn't been himself since last week. I wasn't there to help him all week. He…" she broke off unable to go on.

He pulled her back into a hug "yes but Ron and your parents would want you to be happy. And Harry, well Harry will get better, especially with me and you to help him. You couldn't help not being there, you were unconscious. Okay?"

Hermione nodded and sat back. "what did you want to speak to me about?"

His expression became sadder, and wearier. "I need to give you, a list, of the… fatalities."

She wordlessly held her hand out.

_Order of the Phoenix fatality list_

_Arthur Weasley_

_Molly Weasley_

_Ronald Weasley_

_Ginerva Weasley_

_Charlie Weasley_

_Bill Weasley_

_Percy Weasley_

_Remus Lupin_

_Nymphadora Tonks_

_Severus Snape_

_Kingsley Shacklebolt_

_Hannah abbot_

_Lavender Brown_

_Dennis Creevey_

She didn't read any further, her eyes blurring up with tears. "The whole Weasley family?" she whispered.

"The death eaters exploded the burrow. Fred and George only survived because they were at their shop." He said gravely.

He looked at her with pity. She had no one left except Harry and him. He frowned, _and him…_ his face brightened.

"I have something to ask you Hermione." He asked when she looked up he began, "Hermione, you have no close relatives left. And the only close friends left are Harry and me. we should stick together, and help each other."

She frowned, she didn't understand what he was talking about.

"what I'm saying Hermione, is that with Harry being in this rut and us trying to forget what happened last week. I think that as soon as the last funeral is over, all three of us should go on holidays."

Hermione thought about it, chewing her lip. Sirius found himself looking at her lip as she bit it. All nice and plump and… he shook his head _Merlin, he needed to get out more. She was young enough to be his daughter!_

"Alright," she decided. "it would be good to get away, and to have a fun time, and to forget what happened. But, where would we go?"

He frowned, he hadn't thought of that. "We'll decide that later," he said.

"Okay" she leaned over and hugged him, "thank you Sirius."

"For what?" he asked surprised.

"For being here to comfort me when I needed it," Hermione answered.

As they were talking, two rooms away, Harry was lying in his bed sweating, and mumbling. "Ron… no, don't go… it's a trap… please Ron… listen to me… where are you?... Ron… RON!... Noooo!"

He yelled the last part jolting up in his bed, his eyes wet with tears. He wiped them away quickly as he heard someone rushing down the hallway. Sirius ran in with his wand out. He stopped and looked at Harry, he sighed and put his wand in his pocket.

He walked over to Harry and hugged him. In the end Harry gave up and just cried while Sirius rocked him back and forth.


	2. where are we?

Hermione sighed as she looked around. _So many people were hurt by this war, and so much of it could have been prevented._

She checked her cupboards again to make sure she had everything before levitating her bag out of her room and down the stairs.

She met Sirius in the hallway downstairs, she looked around, Harry was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Harry?" she asked Sirius.

He shrugged, looking slightly worried. Hermione frowned slightly and then turned and went back up the stairs. When she got to his room she knocked and waited a little.

"Harry? Are you alright? Sirius and I are ready to go." When there was no answer she opened the door.

What she saw made her heart break; he was sitting there, his photo albums open on the floor, with tears streaming down his face. She walked quietly over to him and crouched down next to him.

"Harry, you need to let them go. It isn't healthy." She whispered, tears forming in her eyes. She _hated_ seeing her friend like this, so sad, so broken.

"How can I let go?" he said, his voice cracking. "I can't, I think of something to tell him, but I can't, because he isn't here. Next to Sirius and you, the Weasley's were my only family. You're the only person in my family who hasn't left me."

"Sirius hasn't left you Harry," she reminded him.

"Yeah but he wasn't here when I needed him."

"He went into the veil fighting to protect you Harry. You can't forget that. He cares, I care. And Harry, no one, particularly not the Weasley's would want you to be mourning their deaths for the rest of your life. You need to move on; they would want you to move on." She leant over and hugged him.

She stood up briskly, trying to hold in the tears, and said "come on Harry, we need to go."

He waved a hand "I need to pack first, I got distracted."

Hermione smiled, "honestly Harry are you a wizard or not?" she waved her wand and everything was packed neatly in his bag.

Harry looked sheepish "I knew that."

"Sure Harry."

Sirius looked relieved when they came down. "I've been waiting down here for _hours_ couldn't you've hurried up a bit?"

Harry only smiled and flicked his wand from inside his pocket. The rug underneath Sirius promptly slid out from under him leaving him to fall into an ungraceful heap.

Hermione started laughing and then abruptly stopped _Harry had smiled!_

She smiled, this holiday was a good idea, he was cheering up already and they hadn't even left house yet.

She frowned as a thought struck her "Sirius," she asked "where are we going?"

Sirius smiled knowingly and tapped his nose, "I was waiting for you to ask that. But, I can't tell you where we're going."

Hermione put her hands on her hips and said "why? We deserve to know. And if you say it's a surprise I will hit you."

"No Hermione, don't worry; I couldn't decide so I signed us up for one of those surprise holiday packages the ministry has. The ones where they send you a portkey and you have no idea where you're going until you get there."

She hit the palm of her hand on her forehead, "you idiot Sirius, so you have no idea where we are going?"

"Well… I know that it's going to be warm, does that help?"

"No, try again."

"Well it has to be legal because I got it just outside the ministry,"

"Outside the ministry?" she said suspiciously, "not inside the ministry?"

"Um yeah, why?"

"Why? Because it's most probably illegal and some cheap scam to get your money."

"Hermione I think you're becoming cynical. You need to relax."

She shook her head, sighing loudly, "whatever, when are we leaving?"

Sirius looked at his watch, "one minute, come on drag your bags over here."

One minute later they felt the familiar tugging sensation in their navel. When they got there Hermione helped Harry up and looked around.

All she saw was a dark and dirty alleyway, with some overflowing and stinking rubbish bins.

"Sirius, where the hell are we?"


	3. Attack

When there was no reply she turned to Sirius, who was looking perplexed "Sirius, where are we? I'm serious Sirius, you better know where we are or I'll do severe damage to you."

When she saw that Harry and Sirius were trying not to laugh she scowled at them and turned away.

"Look Hermione, I'm sure there was just some kind of mistake…" Sirius started and then trailed off as four nasty looking wizards came out of the shadows, surrounding them and cutting their escape off.

"Shit," Harry swore, drawing his wand.

"Come on laddie, put yur wand down, we don' want no harm to com to ya's now do we? Especially not tha' pretty little lass ova there." One of the men said in a thick Scottish accent.

Sirius and Harry automatically moved in front of Hermione to protect her. Harry reluctantly lowered his wand.

"What do you want from us?" he asked harshly.

"Yur' money, yur lassie, and anything of use. That clear enough for ya lad?"

"You won't take Hermione or anything from us," Sirius said, taking his wand out, making the four men raise theirs threateningly.

Sirius grabbed Hermione and Harry's arms and tried to apparate. He looked utterly confused when it didn't work.

One of the men laughed, "You foreigners think we're so dumb, yur stupider than the lot of us put together. We put up anti-appartion wards."

Hermione was not just standing there while Harry and Sirius argued with them; she was looking around the alleyway in which they were situated.

She smiled, having figured out what to do. She slowly pulled her wand out and whispered "_incendo._" The old and weak gas pipe a little way from them exploded into a ball of flame.

Hermione ignoring the effects turned and stupefied the first to men. Sirius, getting over his surprise stupefied the last two.

Hermione heard a whimpering sound and went to look.

She found Harry lying behind a bin and whimpering and muttering things underneath his breath, she leaned closer to hear.

"Don't do it Ron… Hermione, think of what Hermione would say… Ron listen to me, we've warned them… you can't stop it… Ron no!" Hermione jumped back as if stung.

What had happened that night? Where did Ron go?

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Sirius with his eyes filled with tears looking down at his godson.

"he never did anything," he said, his voice heavy with emotion, "he never wanted anything but his family to be safe. To be happy, but the only things he ever got was us. An ex-convict and only one person his own age. Everone else left him, even I left him. How is he going to survive?"

Hermione shook her head, she couldn't answer.

Hermione sank to her knees and gently shook harry by his shoulders, "harry, harry, it's alright, your safe now. Harry, HARRY!" she shouted, falling back as harry sat bolt upright, with tears running down his face.

"Why did they do it? Why?" he shouted, and then promptly fainted.

Hermione looked at Sirius who was bending down to pick harry up off the floor.

"come on," he said sadly, "we'd better go home."

They walked out of the alleyway and apparated.

"I guess we won't be going on holiday quite yet huh?" Hermione asked when Sirius had come back from putting Harry in his bed.

"no, but maybe you should organize it this time," Sirius said sheepishly.

Hemione smiled at that "well, where will we go? Do you have anywhere you want to go?"

Sirius shook his head, "I never really thought about it. I definitely want it be warm, because I hate being cold."

"okay, um what about Australia? It's warm and I've always wanted to go there." Hermione said.

Sirius nodded slowly, thinking about it, "Australia would be good, I heard that there are a lot of hot chicks over there."

Hermione looked scandalized, "Sirius, that's sexist, and it's stupid, you can't judge wether someone is hot or not by their nationality."

He shrugged, trying not to think about how cute she looked when she was angry. The only reason he had made the comment was because he didn't want her to realise that he had been staring at her for the last two minutes.

They spent the rest of the day waiting for Harry to wake up, when he did he walked in with a rolled up newspaper and started whacking Sirius over the head with it.

Hermione laughed along with Harry as Sirius cowered behind a pillow, but inside she was worried about what Harry had said and done.

I'm going to figure out what happened, she decided, and I'm not going to stop until Harry's better.

A/n well what do you think? Also I forgot to mention but I dedicated chapter 2 to Slytherin-Lycan because they were my first reviewer. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

A/n2 sorry for taking so long to submit the chapter! My usb went missing, (resulting in me having a panic attack) and I didn't find it till a couple of minutes ago.


	4. arguements

One week later, and Hermione was no closer to finding out what happened and how to help Harry. She did however, have another problem, which was, namely, Sirius.

She would find herself watching his every move, she would start thinking about how strong his arms were, and how it would feel to be held by them…

Then she would shake her head but her thoughts would always eventually work their way back to him.

Little did she know, Sirius couldn't keep his mind off her, he would just end up watching her lips as she talked and start to think about what she would do if he just leaned forward and kissed her.

_Probably hit me,_ he thought ruefully. Why did he have to get a crush on his godson's best friend? And why did she have to be not only cute but also smart, funny, half his age…

That was probably the big problem, the problem being the extremely big age gap. He could handle someone who was five, maybe even ten years younger than him but almost twenty years younger was definitely stretching it.

"Hermione," Sirius whined "why can't you tell us where we're going? You got mad at me for not telling."

Hermione smiled sweetly and said, "This is your punishment. Harry knows, it is just you who is being kept in the dark because you did something idiotic last time."

Sirius rounded on Harry who tried (and failed) to look innocent. "You never said you knew," Sirius said accusingly.

"Really Sirius, grow up, you're acting like a petulant child." Hermione scolded. As if to prove her point Sirius pouted and stamped his foot.

_God he looks so cute when he does that,_ Hermione thought, then shook her head, "um the portkey s activated by holding it and saying **my magical holiday**"

She nodded when Harry made a disgusted face, "yeah I know it sucks but I didn't think of it, the company did."

As they were getting ready to go Hermione said quietly to Sirius, "five galleons that Harry falls over after we portkey there." Hermione felt safe in making this bet as Sirius had never really seen Harry and his terrible landings.

Sirius eyed her suspiciously but he shook her hand anyway and said, "deal, Harry's got good balance he can keep his balance."

When they were ready Hermione said clearly "my magical holiday," and they disappeared.

When they landed Harry fell down as normal, dragging Sirius down with him while Hermione started laughing at them.

Sirius scowled up at her, "are you going to help us up?"

But Hermione was laughing to hard to help, she just choked an undistinguishable answer and kept laughing.

"what was that?" Harry asked, getting up and brushing himself off. He was used to falling over by now.

"you… you owe me five galleons," Hermione gasped, wiping tears of laughter away and pointing at Sirius.

Harry looked between them, confused, "what happened did I miss something?"

Hermione smiled and said, "he bet that you wouldn't fall over when we landed."

Harry stared at Sirius incredulously "you actually bet that I wouldn't fall over? Hermione just made an easy five galleons Sirius. I mean everyone knows I fall over after being portkeyed somewhere."

"Well obviously I didn't" Sirius said testily, glaring at Hermione, who just smiled and held out her hand.

Sirius muttered under his breath as he fished the money out f his pocket. "What was that Sirius?" Hermione asked sweetly.

Sirius just gave her the money and turned away, finally taking notice of their surroundings.

He whistled "you did better than our last choice Hermione, I'll give you that."

"Sirius," Harry said, "anywhere would be better than where you took us. And if I rightly remember last time it was your choice, not ours."

"So? You could have stopped us from going, don't try to blame it on me."

"Sirius, Hermione tried to stop you from going, you didn't listen."

Wile they were arguing the owner of the hotel had come up to them and watched with a bemused expression as they argued.

His son came up behind him and said, "the girl looks pretty, I might ask her if she want a tour of the city."

Finally finished with their arguing Sirius asked Hermione, "well, now that we're here, are you going to tell me where we are?"

"oh we're in Australia, Perth. In three weeks we will go to Queensland where we will spend the last two weeks." Hermione suddenly screamed as she felt something jump onto her and scratch her. Her vision went black and…

A/n. well, what do you think? Guess what or who attacked Hermione. And is the Australian guy good or evil? Is he even hot? Damn, so many questions I have to answer. Great. please R/R


	5. Ben

Someone ran over to Hermione and pulled the black cat off her head. She sat up from where she had fallen, gasping from shock.

A friendly voice said, "Are you alright? You must have gotten quite a shock when jag jumped on you." warm hands helped her up off the ground.

She looked up to see a smiling face. As she shakily stood up she realised the face belonged to a teenager about her age. What's more, he was a hot teenager her age.

He let go of her cautiously, ready to catch her if she fell.

"You took quite a fall there, are you all right?" he asked gently.

She nodded mutely, not trusting herself to speak.

She was saved as Harry and Sirius pushed the guy out of her way and started fussing.

"Are you alright mione?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Yes Harry, I'm fine." She assured him.

Sirius was busy dealing with the huge wave of jealousy that came over him when he saw Hermione in the arms of that Australian guy.

Maybe coming to Australia wasn't such a good idea. Though, he might be able to take his mind off Hermione by going to find a pretty little Aussie girl.

That decided he checked again to see wether Hermione was fine then said, "Okay, I'm going to be back… well I don't really know when I'll be back, but don't wait up alright?"

Harry frowned, "but where are you going?"

Hermione sighed impatiently, cross with herself for feeling so jealous. "Harry, it's kinda obvious that he's going to go out to a club to meet some people."

"Who are you going to meet?" Harry asked, still not quite catching on.

"I don't know yet, that's the point." Sirius said exasperatedly.

It suddenly dawned on Harry what he was trying to hint at. "Oh… um… yeah… I- I need to go pack, I mean unpack my bags." He stuttered, turning bright red. He gave up, turned, and fled the room.

Sirius, Hermione, and the Australian guy, looked at each other and then started laughing.

"Are all guys our age in England so dense?" the Aussie guy asked.

"No," Hermione grinned, "just Harry. By the way, my name's Hermione Granger."

"And mine's Ben Aedes. Welcome to Perth."

"Thank you, but how did you know we were from England before?"

"Your accents, I've lived in this hotel my whole life, so I know what most accents by just hearing them."

Sirius looked on, not really wanting to leave Hermione alone with this Ben guy but not wanting to deal with the feelings he had when he was around her.

He shook his head and said, "Well, I have to go now. Bye." He turned and walked away.

Ben watched him go and thought; _great, now I've got competition to get this chick. Hope she's worth it._

A/n sorry for taking so long to put the chapter up. I had a major case of writers block. Anyway, I know the chapter is short but I hope you still like it. Unfortunately for you, I have decided wether Ben is good or not _**but**_ I'm not going to tell you for a couple more chapters. Or at least till I feel like it. Also I would like to thank my friend em, for giving me the inspiration for Ben's name. Lol. Please R/R.


	6. Chapter 6

A/n okay first of all pplz I will not, I repeat, will not be giving anyone any extra hints at all. You just have to wait until I decide to tell you. HA. This'll be in Ben's POV. Enjoy the chapter!

Ben was talking to his father about Hermione, "do you reckon she's worth it dad? I mean I can't see anything that might be worth the bother, but something is drawing me to her. She's like a magnet to my thoughts, I can't stop thinking about her. It's weird."

"son I reckon you might be falling in love."

Ben snorted, "Nah, as if. I don't fall in love. That's what girls do."

But he frowned slightly as something in the back of his mind niggled at him.

"whatever," he said loudly, to get his thoughts out o his head, "I'm going to go see if I can find her. Bye."

As he walked out of the office he saw her walking out of the lift. Ben's dad figured that though it was a wizard hotel, it didn't mean that they had to go without muggle gadgets.

He stopped, hidden by some filing cabinets, and watched her. She was wearing a rather short skirt. His pants tightened when she dropped her keys and bent over to pick them up, he groaned slightly.

When she had stood up again and his, uh, 'problem' had calmed down he stepped out from behind the cabinets and walked up to her.

"Hey Hermione, do you remember me?" he asked, grinning softly.

"Of course I remember you Ben, you saved me from the evil cat that was out to get me." she said slightly startled.

Now, Hermione may be smart, and she may be beautiful but the thing is she is completely clueless in these sorts of things. Kind of like quidditch. So Hermione being Hermione, she did not even realise that Ben was flirting with her.

"so what are you doing today?" Ben asked.

"oh I was going to go explore the town but, Sirius is still with the girl he brought home and Harry is… well Harry's just not up for going to explore today. So I was going to go get a map from a tourist centre."

"well if you're boyfriends can't go with you, I will. I know my way around."

"Harry and Sirius aren't my boyfriends, and would you show me around? I don't want to intrude or anything."

"No, no it's fine. I haven't got anything else to do. Come on, I'll take you to the Wanneroo Show. Do you want walk or shall we catch a bus?"

"um I guess we can walk. What's the Wanneroo Show?"

"it's a show, you know sideshows, showbags, rides, those kinds of things. Well do you want to go?"

"sure, why not."

Hermione and Ben walked out of the hotel and down the street, talking about random things, getting to know each other better.

Ben grinned triumphantly, when Hermione wasn't looking._ He would get the pretty naïve virgin. As always._

A/n well? Do you like? Read and review people, I beg you. and for those who actually do review, I am not a very good replier, sorry but my parents don't have a very good internet deal so it costs heap. Anyway I almost always use the school computers. Sorry about that, if you like people replying to your reviews.


	7. Attack Of The Flobberworms!

Hermione arrived back at her hotel room flushed with excitement. She had had the best time in ages with Ben at that show.

When she opened the door to the rooms she shared with Harry and Sirius she was accosted from both sides by aforementioned people.

"Hermione, where were you? we were worried sick."

"yeah Harry almost burst a vein he was that worried." Sirius added with a grin, his eyes betraying the worry he felt.

"shut up Sirius that wasn't funny." Harry said grumpily.

"he collapsed," Sirius informed Hermione, "and then he woke up shouting about how you were getting eaten by flobberworms and that we had to go rescue you."

Hermione giggled and laid a reassuring hand on Harry's arm. "I'm sorry for worrying you Harry, I didn't mean to. I met Ben, the guy who saved me from that cat and he took me to this show thing. And I didn't see any flobberwors, but to be just in case, would you feel better if I avoided them for a while? I mean with you taking divination and all that."

As Harry calmed down and stopped glaring at Hermione, Sirius felt a stab of something in his gut from hearing Hermione had spent the whole day with some guy. _Why should I care? She can do as she pleases. It's not jealousy is it? No, it can't be, no probably just something like worry or something._

He kept trying to convince himself that he only cared for her like he cared for Harry, i.e paternal feelings only. But for some reason he couldn't shake the feeling that he was lying to himself and that there was something more to it.

Hermione went to bed expecting to spend the night thinking about Ben, who for the record was blonde, tanned, and all in all, sexy.

Instead she found her thoughts drifting yet again to Sirius, _god he's hot…_ she thought dreamily going to sleep.

Two seconds later she sat bolt upright in her bed, her hand over her mouth. "oh merlin," she whispered, "I've got a crush on sirius."

A/n okay. I understand if y'all hate me. I understand. I took forever to load this and when I did, its so damn short! Sorry about that. Oh yeah im sorry to tell you all but im not really good at replying to reviewers, coz I only have dialup at home that costs heaps, so I usually put the chapters up at school. And for obvious reasons we aren't aloud to email ppl. So if I don't reply sorry. Blame it on teachers. And if you're a teacher, sorry meant no offense.


	8. You think of your own damn chapter name

A/n ok ppl, as an apology for the horribly short chapter 7, I am going to give you a nice long chapter, and I am hoping you forgive me when you read it!

Oh yeah and a warning, this story is M rated for a reason. I'll mark where the lemon starts and ends if you don't want to read it.

Hermione relaxed as the jet of hot water hit her face. She always found showers to be relaxing. About half an hour later Hermione stood in the bathroom drying her hair. It had calmed down and now fell down her back in neat ringlets.

Her body had also grown up, her breasts becoming large, her figure impressive, with her long legs and her slightly taller than average height. Nobody ever really noticed how much Hermione grew up because she hid it in her large and baggy robes.

She hadn't gotten completely dressed; as was her habit she was just wearing lacy underwear. She had the hairdryer right in her ear and didn't hear the knock on the door.

Sirius frowned, _why didn't she answer? Maybe because she has that hair drying thing on, whatever, she's probably dressed._

Following this train of thought, he turned the handle and pushed the door open…

_Meanwhile… Harry's POV_

_Hmm… nachos, I feel like nachos. To get up or to not get up? Oh decisions, decisions. This is hard, effort and food, or no effort and no food?_

Finally coming to a decision Harry dragged himself up off his bed, wrote a note to Sirius and Hermione telling them where he was and put it on the bench, then went out his door that was connected to the hall.

He went and found his nachos, and spent the next half an hour wandering around the street.

_Meanwhile…_

He pushed the door completely open and what he saw made his mouth drop open in shock.

Hermione, seeing him in the reflection turned around and screamed in surprise and horror.

"Sirius!" she yelled, trying to cover her body up, without much success.

Sirius was currently standing in the doorway his mouth still open with shock. "Wow."

As Hermione groped around for her towel she couldn't help but notice that he was topless. Momentarily forgetting what was happening she discreetly checked him out, thinking, _Merlin he's cute._

She then came to her senses and said a little more calmly ""what the hell are you doing in here?"

Sirius hadn't missed the fact that she had checked him out, but when he noticed her plump red lips he couldn't take it anymore, "fuck Hermione," was all he said as he swiftly walked over to where she stood.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXSTART OF LEMON! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Without waiting for a reaction, he captured her mouth with his. He felt Hermione stiffen then relax slightly, leaning into the kiss.

Hermione was shocked at first, and then she started noticing how nice it felt. She moaned slightly as she felt something hard pushing against her abdomen.

Sirius' tongue ran along Hermione's mouth, asking for permission. She opened her mouth willingly and his tongue entered, exploring her mouth thoroughly.

It was his turn to moan as her tongue touched his tentatively.

He moved his hand up from where it had been gripping her waist to massage her breast. His other hand ran down her thigh, lifting it up, making Hermione reflexively wrap her legs around his waist.

Hermione's hands roamed over Sirius' body, coming to rest in his silky hair.

Sirius decided that the bathroom was too uncomfortable; he started backing out of the room, still kissing Hermione.

He led her to his bedroom where he gently lowered her onto the bed.

He started kissing his way down her neck, sucking and licking.

"Sirius, please…" Hermione moaned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXEND OF LEMON! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hearing Hermione moan his name, Sirius sat back quickly, as if someone had hit him.

_What was he doing? This was Hermione. Harry's best friend Hermione, not some tart._

"Sirius?" a quiet voice asked.

"This isn't right Hermione, I was wrong to do that." Sirius said apologetically.

Hermione thought about it, and then conceded that he was most likely right. It was a spur of the moment thing, one that they probably would have regretted later.

Hermione nodded, and said, "Sirius you are right in a way. We shouldn't have done that. However, I have to take some of the blame as well. We both took part and we both should take responsibility. And anyway," Hermione said starting to blush, "I, I kind of, well I…"

"Enjoyed it?" Sirius suggested, grinning when she gave an embarrassed nod. "Its fine Hermione, you were allowed to enjoy it. But right now I think you had better go get finished getting dressed."

Hermione looked down; blushing as she suddenly remembered how little she was wearing.

She slid of the bed but paused when she got to the door, "Sirius," she said quietly.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Thank you,"

"For what?" he asked, confused.

"For being so considerate." She said, and then left the room.

Sirius sat there, his head in his hands, until Harry came bursting into the room, shouting excitedly about something.

Sirius looked up and smiled wearily, Harry was so much like his father.

"Whoa Harry, slow down, I can't understand you." Sirius said.

"Okay, well you know the show Hermione went to, I thought it was like a book show or something. But then I was talking to a lady in the restaurant when I was having my nachos, and I found out that it's an actual show. One with rides and candy floss and food and show bags and all things like that." He said slightly slower, sounding like a toddler.

"What? Nachos? Rides? Candyfloss? Harry, what are you on about?" Sirius asked confusedly.

"Oh it doesn't matter, come on, I'll show you, put your shirt on and we'll catch a taxi, I want to get there soon."

Shaking his head at his grandsons childish antics, Sirius put his shirt on and followed Harry out the door.

In the corridor they found Hermione waiting for them. When she saw Sirius, she gave him a shy smile, and then followed Harry down the corridor.

Sirius sighed with relief; he didn't want things to be awkward between them.

Almost unconsciously, he started watching the gentle sway of her ass as she walked down the hall… NO! He forced his eyes away. Thoughts like that was why all this started in the first place.

When they got down to the lobby they saw Ben coming out of his office. There was something different about him… he had died his hair black!

Hermione looked at it curiously, deciding that it looked good.

As Ben saw them his face lit up in a smile. "Hi." He said cheerfully, "where do you plan on going today?"

He had been looking at Hermione but Harry answered, "We're going to the show, do you want to come with us?"

Ben shrugged, he had been planning on getting Hermione alone, but he could do that later. "Sure, why not?"

When they got down to the show and had paid to get in (Ben had some muggle money) they started to wander around, Harry at the front, Hermione and Ben in the middle, with Sirius bring up the rear.

As they were walking along Ben subtly took Hermione by the hand. Sirius, being behind them, saw this and glared at Ben.

Hermione had been shocked when he had taken her hand. Smiling kindly, she said softly, "I'm sorry Ben, but I only like you as a friend." As she was saying this she was gently taking her hand out of his.

Ben's mouth almost fell open in indigitation,_ how dare she?_

Without looking at her or speaking to her he walked faster and caught up with Harry. _How dare Hermione brush me off? _He sighed; he liked the sound of her name.

_Hermione…_

A/n TADA!!! Do you all accept my apology for giving you such a bad chap last time? Pleeeaaaassseeee. grovels pathetically well this chapter was going to be longer but once I got to this point it seemed to be right to finish the chapter there. The good news, I won't be having writers block. Anyway, since I wrote you that nice long chappie, you can all write me nice long review. Doesn't matter if your anonymous, I just want to hear your thoughts about my story. And a special thanks to my regular reviewers. Until next chapter my loyal readers…


	9. It's All Your Fault

Later that night when they were watching the fireworks Ben came up behind them carrying their drinks.

"hey guys! I met one of my friends so I bought him over to meet you." he said, not looking at Hermione, just talking to Sirius and Harry.

Hermione mentally groaned when she saw the guy had vibrant red hair, only a couple of shades darker than Ron's.

She glanced at Harry, his hands were trembling and even in the dark she could see his face was pale.

"Uh Ben, can I speak to you for a minute?" Hermione asked.

Harry had started to visibly shake all over. Ben's friend kneeled next to him, "hey you all right mate? Mine name is Ronald but you can call me Ronnie or Ron."

Hermione's vision blurred with tears as she crawled over to Harry, who was now sobbing uncontrollably, "why Ron?" he half yelled, his voice cracking, "why? WHY? He never did anything." He broke into a fresh lot of tears as Hermione rubbed his back comfortingly.

Sirius pushed Ronnie away, quietly explaining what was happening.

Harry was still talking though it was now more of a heartbroken moaning rather than the yelling. "Why did it have to be Ron... why couldn't it have been Hermione?"

Hermione jumped back as if stung, "Harry?" she whispered.

Harry turned around to face her, "it's your fault!" he said, screaming again, "it's your fault Ron died, your fault the Weasley's are all dead, it's your fault Remus died! It's your fault! All your fault!" he started hitting her chest, scratching at her arms.

Hermione stood up, still crying, stood there for a second, hesitating. "Leave, go away, I never want to see you again." Harry yelled.

She turned and ran into the darkness, still crying, pushing through the crowd that had gathered.

"All my fault? Is my fault?" she brokenly questioned herself as she ran.

She ran past the ambulance that had just pulled up by the gate and pushed through the paramedics.

Sirius, having overheard what Harry had said to Hermione, and saw Hermione run off, so he ran over to Harry and pulled him into a hug, taking up the same place Hermione had just vacated.

"Come on Harry, calm down, you don't mean that, it's all right…" he whispered comfortingly.

At this moment the paramedics arrived and he stepped back and let them do their job.

He looked around; suddenly registering that Hermione would need comfort. Harry had been too cruel.

Sirius set off to find Hermione, dodging around people who were trying to push closer. He heard one of the people say to their friend excitedly, "ooh I hope it's a fight…"

Sirius ran out onto the street, looking wildly around, he was getting very worried about hermione now. He thought of something and ran quickly to some bushes.

Five seconds later a big black shaggy dog ran out of the same bushes with his nose trained on the ground.

After an our of seaching he returned to the show grounds to find that the muggles had taken Harry to a hostiple, or whatever they called the thing.

He turned back into a dog and resumed looking. _Oh Hermione, where are you?_

A/n I'm sorry, I just got caught up with all these stories I was reading, soo sorry! I would promise it won't happen again but I'm horribly forgetful. Anyway please review, even if its only to complain about how late I am. Cya next chap!


	10. Meet Emily

Hermione crouched in the corner, huddling herself into a small ball. She didn't know how long she sat there but she knew it felt like forever.

In reality it was only about two hours. Sirius was still looking, gradually getting closer to where Hermione was.

He was very worried by know, because who knows what she was thinking. Harry had been very cruel to her. He couldn't believe the things he had said, but Harry, Sirius argued with himself, was not in his right mind.

His nose snuffled as he found a whiff of her scent… there! He followed it quickly now, not bothering to move for people lest he lose the scent.

He ran forward to a dark corner where he came across Hermione curled into a tight ball sobbing her eyes out.

Sirius was worried that she hadn't stopped crying for the two hours he had been looking for her. "oh Hermione," he whispered "it's going to be all right, he didn't mean it. He was not in his right mind Hermione, he didn't mean it."

He sat with her for another half an hour calming her down. She finally sat up properly and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry Sirius, it was just…"she said brokenly.

"I understand." Sirius said soothingly, "you don't need to apologise."

"where's Harry?" Hermione asked hesitantly, not sure that she wanted to know.

"uh well, he's in a hos… hostiple, I think the muggles called it. I couldn't find Ben. Though maybe it was best, of all the people Ben knew why did he have to introduce us to a red head called Ron? But anyway, we'll go back to the hotel and you can change your clothes and have a shower, then we can go to the hostiple."

Hermione nodded and smiled wanly, "Sirius, it's called a hospital, not hostiple."

"whatever."

When they arrived at the hotel they saw Ben and a red headed girl talking to each other. Hermione could see even from this distance that there was a sort of tenderness in both persons movement.

As they walked closer Hermione saw even more details, the way the girl looked at him with obvious caring and, dare she say, love maybe? With Ben she saw basically the same thing however she realised that there was an oblivious look in his eyes as well.

_So,_ Hermione mused, _she likes him a lot, and knows it and he likes her a lot but __**doesn't**__ realise it. Oh that is soo sweet! I hope it turns out well for them._

Ben glanced over and saw them he immediately took hold of the girl's arm and led her over to them.

Sirius was not to happy to see Ben, but Hermione was intrigued by who this girl was. Did she know that Ben liked her back? Was she going to make a move? Or would she just keep watching with adoration?

Hermione liked waiting to see how people's relationships went. She found it interesting how people acted completely different around each other.

"hello, I was wondering where you had gone. Do you know what happened with Harry? Ronnie didn't tell me, he left early."

Sirius looked uncomfortable, "this really isn't…" he started.

"Sirius it's alright," she turned her attention to Ben "you know the war…" she trailed off realising that she didn't know wether the girl was a witch or a muggle.

Ben followed her gaze and realised why she had stopped speaking "oh right, sorry about that, Sirius Hermione, this is Emily, she's my best friend. Emily, this is Sirius and Hermione, they're staying at our hotel. Emily isn't a muggle by the way." He said, directing the last part at Hermione.

Hermione sighed in relief, "that's good, I was worried for a moment. Hello Emily, I have a red-headed friend who looks just like you, her name is Ginny."

"I would like to point out that my hair is strawberry blonde not red. But thank you anyway." Emily said, smiling a little to show that she was joking.

Hermione smiled, "that's what Ginny always said too."

A frown crossed Emily's face, "said? You talk of her as if she is dead."

Hermione's face fell, "she is, she died with her whole family in the dark war."

Emily put her hand up to her face in shock, "oh no, I am so sorry."

"It's alright, you could not have known." Hermione said gently.

She turned to look at Ben and Sirius who had been silent during the whole exchange. She realised they were no longer standing next to them, she looked around quickly, wondering where they had gone. She relaxed as she saw them talking in a corner.

As she looked they finished talking and walked over to them.

"well it was nice meeting you Emily, I hope we see you again before we go." Sirius said smiling.

"the same to you, Sirius."

"come on Hermione we need to go to the hostiple." He told Hermione.

"it's hospital siruis, honestly, can't you remember these things?"

"no."

Hermione just rolled her eyes and stepped into the elevator. As soon as the doors shut they both said in unison, "five galleons they get together."

They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"I wish someone would care about me like that," Hermione said wistfully, thinking of her own failed romances.

Sirius ran one finger along the side her face "I care for you like that," he said softly.

He pressed his lips against hers in a gentle chaste kiss.

At that moment the lift doors opened and he pulled back and stepped out of the lift. Without looking at her or saying anything he opened his door, went in and shut it.

A/n yay! That was a hard chapter to write for some reason. Whatever. Okay faithful readers, good news… I'm on holidays! And due to my very minimal social life I will be spending my six weeks on my computer writing this story for you. and I cannot tell you how much I would appreciate reviews, even if they're only a couple words long. Though really long ones would be nice :) as always R&R!


	11. Harry Hates You

Once they arrived at the hospital they were directed towards Harry's room. When they entered they found him lying there fast asleep. Hermione moved over to the side of the bed and sat down next to him.

She looked up at Sirius who had remained at the end of the bed. "What happened after I left?" Hermione asked softly.

"Well, I spent a long time looking for you, I don't know how long. Then after that I returned to the show grounds to see whether Harry was alright. The muggles there told me that the paramedics had taken him to the hospital. After that I just kept looking for you and yeah, that's it."

"Oh." Unable to think of anything more to say she sat back in the plastic seat and started thinking.

She was curious as to why Sirius had kissed her. He hadn't looked her in the eye or talked much since that kiss in the lifts. It wasn't even a kiss really, more like a peck on the lips, but she could still feel it. She didn't know wether it was normal to feel like this though. She would admit quite freely that she was completely in the dark about matters of the heart.

He was the one who had said that it wasn't right. She had presumed that he had been saying that because he didn't really like her but now... maybe he had said it more for her sake than his.

She was distracted from her thoughts by a soft touch on her face. Startled out of her reverie she looked around in shock. She then looked down to see Harry's eyes open and looking at her.

"I am so so sorry Hermione."

"It's alright Harry; you weren't in the right state of mind to be thinking logically."

"No Hermione, I knew what I was saying." At this Hermione drew back in horror as he continued, "Every night I lie awake in my bed. Ron was my best friend. When you were injured, he went on the mission instead of you." Hermione was weeping bitterly now while Sirius watched on with a growing sense of worry.

_Why was Harry being so cruel?_

"If you hadn't of injured yourself, you would have gone. You would have died instead of Ron."

Hermione gave a choked gasp and stood up quickly, knocking her chair over, "why are you doing this Harry?"

"Because it's your entire fault Hermione, you should have died. I wish you were dead!" Harry's voice was rising to a loud screaming sound, his voice hoarse with grief; it had taken on a slightly crazy tone. His eyes were wide open and staring.

Hermione stepped back as if she had been slapped in the face. She stood still for a moment then turned and ran.

Sirius, remembering what happened last time she ran off, tried to stop her. She pushed past him and ran out in the corridor.

Sirius looked at his godson, who had fallen back on to his pillow, bitter tears flowing down his face. Sirius felt no pity for Harry and just asked him, "How could you be so cruel?" and then ran out to find Hermione.

To his relief she was outside the hospital room. He hurried over to her, worried about how she would take this new problem.

As he sat down she turned to him and wrapped her arms around him. Sirius was surprised for a second but then copied the motion, letting her bury her head into his neck.

Sirius didn't try to comfort her this time, knowing that it would be a hopeless task. He just gently stroked her back, letting her cry out her feelings on his shoulder.

As he slowly rubbed her back comfortingly he started thinking about what they were going to do next.

Coming to a decision he lifted her up and started carrying Hermione down the hall. As they passed Harry's door Sirius looked in and saw Harry lying on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling.

Sirius felt the heavy feeling in his heart and he knew it would not go away anytime soon. He sighed almost inaudibly and then continued to carry Hermione down the hall.

Sirius didn't know how to stop what was happening and how make everything that was happening right again so all he could do was hope that everything turned out alright.

A/n I was hoping on getting this chapter before Christmas but we had to go to my grandfather's place for Christmas and unfortunately he doesn't have a computer. So I'm sorry but this was the the earliest I could get the chapter out. Please review! Oh and the next couple of chapters are going to be angst-filled. At least that's how I've been planning it. Stupid plot bunny.


	12. A Very Interesting Chapter

A/n ok there is a lemon here, so you'll have to skip that part if you don't want to read it. However you can't skip the whole chapter as this has a huge plot point in it.

_Darkness…_

_Falling…_

_Falling…_

Hermione woke up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat and screaming. The door swung open and Sirius rushed into her room, only wearing black silk boxers with his wand drawn.

When he saw Hermione in her bed with no obvious trouble he hesitantly lowered his wand.

He walked over to her seeing that she had tears streaming down her face. He sighed, he realised that she was having nightmares again.

They had called off their holiday, choosing to go home once Harry was let out of hospital. The muggle doctors had told them that he would be released today, around midday.

Hermione had been having nightmares for the last couple days, though she had never woken up screaming before.

He sat down next to her and wiped her tears away. "Shh, Hermione it's alright I'm here now."

She turned to him and flung her arms around him, "oh Sirius, please stay. I don't want to be alone. Nobody loves me anymore, my parents are dead and Harry hates me now."

Sirius lifted her chin up and stared at her intensely, "I love you Hermione."

Her breath caught as she looked at him. By the look in his eyes she figured he did not mean it platonically.

Without thinking she leaned in and kissed him.

Sirius' eyes widened in surprise, but then he focused on kissing her back wholeheartedly.

There was a small voice in the back of his head telling him that this was wrong. But it was a very small voice and Sirius ignored it.

XXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXX LEMON STARTS HERE XXXXXXxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXX

He ran his tongue along her mouth, asking for entrance. She opened her mouth willingly and he set about exploring it.

Sirius quickly undid the buttons on her nightgown and started giving his attentions to her breasts.

"Sirius, please," Hermione moaned loudly.

Her roaming hands moved slowly down his body and reached the top of his boxers and pulled them down.

Sirius moved his mouth back up from her breasts and kissed her passionately.

"Sirius please… I need you… I want you…" Hermione said breathlessly.

Sirius looked down at her. Just seeing her almost drove him crazy with lust hearing her say that she wanted him was the last straw.

He positioned himself at her entrance and plunged into her. As he felt himself breakthrough her barrier his eyes widened in shock and he immediately stopped moving.

He watched her as a tear slid out from underneath her closed eyelid. She lay there for a few moments dealing with the pain.

She took a deep breath and shakily opened her eyes, looking up at Sirius. He smiled reassuringly at her.

She moved experimentally against him and he groaned at the feeling.

He started thrusting into her, softly at first but then speeding up.

"Hermione," he groaned; his voice thick with desire.

As Hermione's cries became more frequent he knew that she was going to finish soon, and Sirius knew that he wouldn't last much long after her. He had never seen someone who had been so responsive.

Hermione cried "Sirius!" really loudly as she came, Sirius, as he predicted, coming soon after her. He looked down at her and smiled softly.

He then rolled over to the side so he wouldn't crush her, and pulled her into his arms and then they slept.

XXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXX LEMON ENDS HERE XXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXX

As Hermione woke up in the morning she became aware of the the dark brown eyes looking down at her. She glanced up to see the smiling face of Sirius Black.

"Hi," Sirius said softly, brushing a piece of hair out of her face, "how are you?"

"I'm good, thanks." Hermione said quietly.

"You should have told me you were a virgin, I would have been gentler."

"Sorry I thought you knew."

"It's alright I thought you and Ron had, well everyone thought you and he had been closer than friends."

"No, we tried going out once in year six, but we broke up in less than a week and we decided we were better off being friends."

"Oh, okay that explains a lot."

"Um, Sirius can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what do you want to know?"

"I want to know what we are going to do now, as in relationship-wise."

"I don't know; what do you want from a relationship?"

"Well I want a steady relationship, no on-again-off-again kind of thing. I would like someone who isn't too serious but can be serious at the right times."

"Why don't we try and have a relationship like that? Though I must warn you I'm always Sirius."

"Oh ha ha" Hermione said sarcastically, then continued in a more serious tone, "do you think we can make it work?"

"We can try, and I think that's all we can do." He then leaned in and kissed her. "But right now we have to get up because it's eleven and Harry should be released from hospital soon."

As they got ready they both thought about what had happened last night, and neither were regretting it.

They walked out of the lift and into lobby holding hands. Ben was in there talking to a guest.

As they walked out he looked up and saw that they were holding hands. His eyes narrowed at them for a second but then he just shrugged his shoulders and went back to talking to the guest.

Sirius and Hermione looked at each other, glad that they would not have to deal with his jealously.

As they walked down the hospital corridor Hermione started worrying about how Harry would react. She hadn't spoken to him since that first visit in the hospital. _How would he take it?_

As she opened the door slowly (A/n I can just here the jaws theme music or something :)) she started thinking of all the possible outcomes of this meeting. She had trouble thinking of any that might end happily, after what had happened last time she had talked to Harry.

There was a high pitched scream coming from somewhere as she took in the scene before her. It took a couple of moments before she realised that she was the one who was screaming.

The room blurred and swayed as she stumbled over to the bed, her hands grasped Harry's wrists to check his pulse. She felt someone try to pull her away; she looked down at her hands. Blood… so much blood…

"NO! HARRY! YOU CAN'T BE DEAD! NOOOOOOO!" she screamed in a voice that seemed to be coming from far away. There was a buzzing in her ears and she was vaguely aware of someone holding her down.

She started to struggle as she felt someone hold her arm down as they stuck a needle in her. She fell against the bed as black started to appear on the edge of her vision. Black spread across her eyes and she knew no more.

She slowly woke up, not really registering what was happening. She opened her eyes to find herself in a hospital bed.

She looked over to see Sirius lying asleep in the chair next to the bed.

_Why was she in a hospital? And where was Harry…_

"Harry…" she whimpered. Sirius woke up at the sound and looked blearily at her. She started to give great hacking sobs as she remembered what her best friend had done.

_She opened the door slowly…_

_Harry, lying there spread across the bed…_

_His arms dangling over the sides of the bed…_

_The blood everywhere…_

_The blood dripping from the slits in his wrists…_

A/n whoa, that took forever to write. Sorry for taking so long but that was a hard chapter to write and my muse decided she should run off to America. Dammit. Hope you like.


	13. A Very Unlucky Chapter 13

Sirius stretched as he woke, rubbing his eyes blearily.

He frowned slightly as he thought of what was happening today.

_Harry's funeral…_

He remembered the night after _it_ had happened. He remembered the look on everyone's faces.

_Flashback_

_They apparated to Grimmauld place, Hermione clinging to Sirius, still crying her eyes out. There was an order meeting being held and everyone looked up at them as they stumbled into the room._

_Professor McGonagall stood up in alarm "my goodness, what ever is the matter?"_

"_Harry… oh Harry… why did you do it?" Hermione sobbed._

_Sirius looked at every one and managed to choke out "Harry, he… he killed himself." The last part was barely a whisper but everyone heard him perfectly._

"_What?" professor McGonagall cried._

"_We went the hospital to pick him up and when we got to the room he was, he was," Sirius stopped unable to finish the sentence._

"_He slit his wrists." Hermione sobbed into Sirius' shoulder, "he killed himself."_

_There was a sudden silence in the room as everyone stared at the sobbing girl in Sirius' arms._

"_Why did he do that?" someone asked._

"_He blamed me for Ron's death, he said it was my fault, I should have died instead. He's right; it was my mission in the beginning."_

"_Hermione it was not your fault. It wasn't anyone's except for the death eaters." Professor Flitwick spoke up, not quite believing that Harry had convinced Hermione that it was her fault._

_End flashback_

He sighed quietly as he padded softly down the hall to check on Hermione, who had been having nightmares still.

Upon opening the door he found Hermione to be sitting there deep in thought.

She looked up at him and started talking hurriedly, "Sirius, I know how we can get Harry back! What if I use the time turner I used to save you and go back and stop him? I could save him!"

His heart broke at the hope he saw in her eyes and he hated himself for having to make it disappear. "Hermione, honey you know we can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because it won't help, you know the law. And Hermione…" he hesitated knowing that it would kill him just as much to say it as it would for her to hear it, "what would stop him from doing it no matter what you said? He hated the sight of you."

She looked at him eyes filled with hurt, still trying to deny the truth.

"get out. Get out now." She whispered. He put up no complaint just silently went to the door and shut it quietly.

As he walked away from Hermione's room he sighed sadly. It was going to be a long day.

Meanwhile, in Hermione's room…

She heard a slight creak and looked up, hoping that it wasn't Sirius coming to check on her. When she was satisfied that it was safe she went back to rummaging through her old school trunk.

Her fingers closed around the object she was looking for. _Yes!_

Pulling it out of the trunk she got up and sat down at her desk, picking a quill and piece of parchment up.

A minute later she finished her calculations. Pulling her wand out she pointed it at the piece of parchment and muttered a spell.

Glancing up at the door to see if anyone was coming she quickly slipped the time turner over her head.

And turned it, again, and again and again, over and over until she had reached the required amount of turns.

And then she disappeared.

A/n sorry about the wait. Number 13 is an unlucky number, first I had writers block, then I accidentally deleted half of my chapter. And more. But, here it is for you to enjoy. I was going to have the funeral in this chapter but I thought of a new plot twist that I liked better. Thanks to Hotkat144 for helping with some ideas for this chapter. Please review!


	14. Remember The Pain?

Hermione looked up; she was standing in the middle of the lobby of the hotel.

She went over to the newspaper stand and checked the date. She had gotten it right, next she looked at the clock on the wall, checking the time.

"Excellent, I got the time just right." It was 10:00 pm.

She walked quickly out the door, and down the street.

When she arrived at Harry's hospital room, avoiding the muggle nurses with a simple disillusionment charm, she opened the door softly.

She expected to see him lying there, about to cut himself, or already cut himself. Her mind had conjured up these horrific nightmares on the walk down to the hospital.

But no, he was sleeping peacefully,

Spread out over the bed, he even had a small smile on his face.

Hermione saw this and hesitated, _could this be the same person on whom they would walk in on with his wrists slit?_

Nevertheless she walked up and hesitantly sat down next to him. She must have made a noise when she sat down because his eyes were opening blearily.

"Hey Harry," Hermione said softly.

"What are you doing here?" he said, sitting up quickly, a sharpness in his voice that Hermione flinched at.

"I, I wanted to make sure that you were alright Harry."

"Well I'm fine, now get out. I don't to speak to you."

"But Harry…"

"Fuck off Hermione."

She stared at him in shock. Harry had _never_ sworn, not even when he was fighting Voldemort. "What?" she said dumbly.

"You heard me. Fuck off. Get out of my room; I don't want you near me. You're pathetic."

Hermione's temper started rising, she had only wanted to apologise.

"I only wanted apologise. You don't need to be cruel, what about our friendship?"

"What friendship Hermione? You call yourself the smartest person in our year? You never even once figured out why we were friends with you? Well let me tell you. We used you; we pretended we were your friends so we could copy off you. We never liked you at all. It was all a lie."

"It's not true, Harry, say it's not true" she pleaded.

"Why should I say that it's not true? You know, I think I just figured out why you were so clingy. You never had any real friends did you? I bet no one ever liked you."

Hermione started to sob as she remembered a day from long ago, while she was in primary school.

_Flashback_

"_Hey bookworm," a voice yelled from behind her._

_Hermione hunched her shoulders further down, wishing that they would just leave her alone._

"_Oi bookworm I was talking to you, don't ignore me." the voice yelled harshly in her ear. She then felt herself being pulled roughly around._

_Tears started as one of the boys who were standing there pulled all her books out from her arms and scattered them along the ground._

"_Aw look, baby bookworm is crying," one of the other boys jeered._

_Hermione wrapped her arms around herself and willed herself to stop crying. __**Why won't they leave me alone?**_

_A crowd of kids, started gathering, laughing at the pathetic figure huddled in the middle of the circle._

_A couple of students smirked and drew attention to a group of people who were making their way down the steps._

_Hermione looked up at what was happening. Hope shined on her face as she recognised her friends._

_As they walked up one of the spectators started clapping slowly. More and more people started clapping as well as the group drew closer. Confusion and wariness started to show on her face as she looked around at the people clapping._

_When the group arrived to where people had made a ring around Hermione, they made a bow. By now everyone in the year was there, watching, laughing and talking among themselves._

_A walkway parted for the group as they walked towards Hermione and the boys. When they arrived at the middle everyone was silent, watching the scene with pleasure._

_Hermione know had a solid pit of worry and fear in her stomach, her books spread around her, all forgotten._

_She tried to get up, but was stopped by a sudden pressure on her back. "You stay on the ground where you belong, filth." Her eyes burned as every one laughed at her._

_She twisted her head to see was there and was shocked to find that it was Dylan Knutter, one of her 'supposed friends'._

_She looked back again to where the main group of her 'friends' were standing with the boys._

"_Well done," the leader of the group of boys, Mathew was saying. "We didn't expect you would last the whole year."_

_One of her 'friends', Ellie nodded, smiling, "yeah, well we won the bet so it's time to pay up."_

"_We know, we know," Mathew said, "how much was it, $100 for each of you?"_

"_Yep, though we were curious as to where you found enough money to pay us. I mean you can't earn the money, how did you avoid questions?"_

"_We got it off my parents, 'cause their divorced and they kept trying to out bid each other."_

_At this point Hermione gathered enough courage to ask timidly, "what's going on?"_

_There was a moment of silence before everyone registered who said it. She flinched as they all started laughing._

"_you want to know what's going on? Fine. We didn't like you. We never have. Mathew and me had a bet that we couldn't be your friend for a year. Jeez that year was the longest ever, I mean it was such a pain pretending that we actually liked you. You're pathetic, a worthless piece of shit. No one likes you, ever liked, and no one ever will." Ellie finished her speech._

_To add insult to the injury she walked over and spat on Hermione's face._

_The class walked away leaving Hermione there with spit and tears dripping off her face._

_They were right. No one would ever like her._

_End flashback_

_Flashback_

_Hermione sat there in the girls' room. It was the night after Harry and Ron had become her friends, and she was writing in her diary._

_**Dear diary,**_

_**Friends! I might have friends! There are these two guys, Harry potter and Ron Weasley. They saved me from a troll, and they let me sit with them. Maybe they will be my friends? I hope so, I'm lonely. All I want is a real friend.**_

_She shut her book and got ready for bed. For the first time in years she went to sleep smiling and happy._

_However there was always that doubt and those insecurities that it was like last time._

_In second year she was nervous, waiting for a crowd to gather and then for Harry and Ron to tell her that they were only pretending._

_As the years went by she relaxed and started to trust them._

_But those fears stayed, buried, waiting to resurface…_

_End flashback_

A/n sorry about the wait.


	15. It's My Turn Harry Deal With It

She stared at him, her mind still running through those terrible moments in her mind.

She couldn't believe that it was happening again. She couldn't believe that she had fallen for the same lies again.

She hated herself for it.

She hated them for it.

_I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, __**I hate you.**_

"It's not my fault Ron died Harry, it's yours. You were asked to go with me, and help me. You were asked again when Ron had to go on the mission. You were to busy being in a 'everyone hates me, my life sucks' mood."

She started spitefully feeling years of repressed hate, anger and hurt coursing through her veins. She let it go, she lost control of all the feelings she had hidden, held back.

"You could have gone Harry. They told me how he died. Shot by avada kedavra in the back. They said that if someone had been there to cover he wouldn't have been killed. I was injured, I couldn't go. You were fine; you just didn't want to go. It's not my fault, it's yours."

Harry stared at her, his mouth hanging open in shock.

"why are you saying that?" he managed to choke out after what seemed an age. "why are you doing this to me?"

Hermione laughed spitefully, "why am I doing this to you? Because you did it to me Harry. Only I'm telling the truth and you deserve it."

She looked at him and for the first time she didn't see Harry, her best friend. She saw a pathetic self pitying, immature child. She wondered how she had ever been friends with him, and why no one had ever noticed this side of him before. She saw the razor the orderlies used to shave him with on the top of a shelf, and accioed it down.

"fuck you harry, fuck you. If life is so hard, end it." She threw the razor at him, hitting him on the chest.

She turned and ran out the room, tears streaming down her face.

_What have I done?_


	16. I Can't Believe I Trusted You!

A/n okay, sorry ive been taking so long to get my story out but I got into a fight at school and am grounded from the computer for an indefinite time so I can only use school computers. Sorry.

_Hermione pulled the time turner out and turned it several times, still sobbing in shock. She arrived in her normal time and collapsed on the bed._

Sirius sat bolt upright as he heard a large thump sound coming from Hermione's room, followed by loud wracking sobs.

He ran out and threw the door open, to see Hermione curled up on her bed, her face soaked with tears. In between sobs he could hear her whimpering something that sounded like 'Why? Why?'

He was shocked. He had seen her sad and upset when harry had died, but Hermione was bordering on hysterical. He hurried over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"shh it's all right, I'm here for you."

To his surprise, Hermione pushed him away and screamed, "yeah right. You're here for me, like harry was there for me? Like ron was there for me? You're just a liar like the rest of them! Piss off! Leave me alone! I can't believe I trusted them, trusted you!"

Sirius backed out of the room, worried and extremely shocked.

A/n right this is a really short chapter but it fits in with the story. Ive already started on the next chapter so it probably wont be too long. Sorry its getting so hard to write the chapters, now that I cant do it at home.


	17. i sent you a letter to see if you cared

Sirius sat in the dimly lit kitchen, nursing a glass of whisky. He heard a noise and looked up sharply, trying to decide wether it was worth getting up for.

As he reached the corridor he saw nothing, and there was no noise coming from upstairs. He walked up them and approached the door carefully. He had thought a lot about what she had told him but most it didn't make sense.

When opened the door he was confronted by an empty room. The bed, where Hermione had been curled up crying hysterically was empty and made.

There was a letter lying on her pillow.

He opened it with trembling hands, understanding that whatever was in the envelope it was not going to be good news

_Sirius,_

_I don't know why am writing this, I don't trust you anymore, but something compelled me to write it anyway._

_All my life people have ostracised me, hated me, and laughed at me. People have pretended to be my friend and then turned around and stabbed me in the back more times than I can count._

_Last night after you tried to make me understand that going back in time was not worth it, I went and did it anyway. When I arrived at the hospital potter was sleeping quietly- _

At this Sirius paused, she had called him potter not, Harry. Why?

_-I was surprised, because he was so peaceful._

_I sat next to him, and planned to spend the night there. I must have woken him up, because the next thing I knew he was talking to me, asking me what I was doing here. I told him that I just wanted to check that he was alright, but he told me he was fine, and to leave._

_I got angry and asked him why he was doing this, why he was doing this to me. He told me the truth then. Turns out that all of them had been friends with me just so they could get all the answers, and have someone do all the work for them._

_I don't care wether you are using me or not, the fact is that I can't trust you. I threw the shaving razor the hospitals use at him, and told him that if life is so hard to end it. I guess he took me seriously._

_I won't say I'll miss you, because I have a feeling I won't. Not for some time at least. The memories are too raw._

_Don't bother trying to find me._

_Hermione_

He stared at the letter uncomprehendingly for a long time. He lost all track of anything that was happening around him.

A while, a long time later he slowly started to move, his body stiff from disuse.

He waked downstairs in a daze, unaware of everything around him. What had they done to her? Why had they done what they did?

He threw a handful of floo powder into the fireplace but then hesitated. Where to go?

He decided to go where he'd always felt at home, other than the potters home. "Hogwarts" he said clearly, tucking his elbows in.

As he stepped out of the fireplace, professor McGonagall looked up in shock. "What on earth Sirius? Do you have any idea what time of night it is?"

"Hermione she… she left." He gasped out, the shock of what happened finally kicking in.

"What?" McGonagall asked confusedly.

"Here," he threw the letter to her. She read it quickly, gasping in shock once or twice.

"we need to find her. I never thought… do you think what she said is true? What harry and ron did?"

"I don't know, I really don't know. Where could she be though?"

Sirius sat there the rest of the night, worrying. He fell asleep with a frown on his face as if even as he sleeped he was worrying about her.

A/n well thanx for your patience, and please as always, review im lonely 


	18. muggles are poor

A/n I know that I don't have the best history with updating on time and I regret having to announce that it will be taking me just about twice as much time, because i'm still grounded from the computer I will try, and I am so so sorry.

Hermione huddled up against the wall, trying to be as inconspicuous as she could. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Sirius and professor McGonagall scanned the crowd, looking undoubtedly for her. She cursed her bad luck of sleeping in. she had planned to be gone by the first hint of daylight, but that obviously wasn't meant to be.

A brainwave hit her. Of course! Sirius had never seen her animagus shape; she would have to avoid McGonagall though. She changed, and once again lamented the fact that she was a sheepdog. Why couldn't she be something elegant? Why?

Nevertheless, Sirius barely glanced at the dog as it walked out through the door to the muggle world.

On the way back to Hogwarts, the headmistress bemoaned the fact that they had not found her. "She could be anywhere; she might have been in her animagus form. How on earth can we find her? She doesn't want to be found."

Sirius nodded absentmindedly then asked curiously, "what is her animagus form? I've never seen it."

"She is a sheepdog. She wanted to be more elegant but, it wasn't to be obviously."

"She's what!" Sirius sat bolt upright in alarm. "I might have seen her! I saw a sheepdog wander out to the muggle world while we were in the leaky cauldron!" he dropped his head in his hands at such a close call. The professor put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It'll be alright, she might just want to be alone. If what Mr Potter and Mr Weasley did is true, then she may find it hard to be near anyone that reminds her of that time."

Sirius accepted the wisdom in her words, "it still doesn't make it any easier to know that she can't or won't trust me."

The nest day Hermione sat in front of a muggle real estate agent, twisting her hands in hr lap nervously. She was going to buy a muggle house, her first step into becoming a muggle for the rest of her life.

The real estate agent came in and sat down. "Hello, my name's Hermione"

"Hello Hermione, I'm Mikaela, what sort of house would you like?"

"I would like a small house, fit for a large library to be housed in it. Will I be able to find one a fair distance away from a main town?"

Mikaela smiled "sure, how much would you like to spend?"

"Money is not a problem; however do you know where I could hire a maid to help me look after my house? I will need a lot of privacy as well."

Mikaela frowned, this lady made such odd requests, but, she supposed, a customer is a customer.

About an hour later they had found the perfect house, out in the country, with the nearest village several hours away. Mikaela had also organised a meeting with an employment company to see if she could find a maid.

A few weeks later Hermione had bought the house and hired a maid called Melanie. She was to meet Melanie today and she was also going to move all her things into the house.

Hermione grinned as she drove her brand new black viper to her house. It was an American car, shitty handling but it looked good, and she would only be driving it to the nearest village every once in a while. She figured that after all she had been through she was allowed to feel really wealthy, though technically, according to muggle standards, she was really really rich.

She didn't have to accept what happened to her, nor did she have to forgive and forget, but she would move on and live her life. She was still living, while those two bastards she had thought friends were dead. Karma bites.

A/n sorry it so long it's quite a boring chapter but it'll get better. Wait till Hermione meets Melanie. Please review, even if it is to complain about how crappy it is.


	19. Something's scratching its way out

"Hi I'm Melanie, and my name's Melanie!" a voice said brightly, Hermione had opened the door of her house to see a blonde haired lady, dressed in a bright green kimono.

"Oh um… hello?" Hermione said, confused. Who was this lady; and why did the green kimono have to be so bright?

"I've come for my interview about the maid job, now before you say that I don't seem conventional let me state my case. I," she started, taking a really deep breath, "am loyal, hard working, loud, oh no wait, forget that last one, and I don't have a private life or anything so I don't have anyone to spill your secrets too, and I am very down to earth."

Hermione blinked. She didn't think it was possible for a person to speak for so long without taking a breath. Hmmm, she liked this girl, she was loud, she didn't want to live in silence and she had agreed to her rather unconventional ideas of what she would have to do, namely live with her as she lived so far from anything. She also looked able to take a shock.

"Alright, come in then," she said, opening the door to let her in.

"Wow," Melanie said, looking around, "this is a great home, so old and… majestic. It must've cost a fortune."

"Not really, but come into the living room, so we can talk about how this is going to work."

"You mean you're hiring me?" Melanie looked surprised.

"Yes, of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Well most people are put off by well, me basically."

"Oh it's fine; it would take a lot more to put me off something."

They walked into the living room and completed their business.

_She doesn't look, she doesn't see  
Opens up for nobody  
Figures out, she figures out  
Narrow line, she can't decide  
everything short of suicide  
never hurts, nearly works  
_

"Hey honey, want to go somewhere quiet?" a voice asked Sirius. He looked up to see a young blonde woman. She put her hand on his arm, and slid it down seductively. He shook his head and looked back down at his drink.

She moved his arm and slipped onto his lap, "come on," she purred, "you've been sitting here for the past hour sulking, why don't I _cheer_ you up." Once she said this she leaned in and started kissing his neck.

Sirius stared into space, ignoring the blonde. All of a sudden he stood up, making her fall to the ground; she gave a shocked gasp and glared at him, "well. If that's the way you wanted it, you could have just said so." She said huffing indignantly.

Sirius turned and walked out to find another pub.

_Something is scratching its way out  
something you want to forget about_

Melanie and Hermione shook hands as they finished figuring out all the details, Hermione happy, thinking that at least she wouldn't be bored while she was staying here. Melanie was happy because Hermione had given her nachos for lunch. Man she hadn't even known she was craving nachos until she smelt it.

"Alright so you'll be back tomorrow with all your stuff?" Hermione asked.

"Yup I'll be packing tonight." Melanie replied.

_A part of you that'll never show  
You're the only one that'll ever know  
Take it back when it all began  
Take your time, would you understand  
What it's all about  
What it's all about_

Sirius stumbled home, drunk as hell with lipstick smeared across his cheek, where the last girl had tried to hit on him. He fell up the stairs but instead of going into his own rooms, he paused as he passed Hermione's old room.

He stared into the clean room then walked over to her old bed, and lay own on it. He breathed deeply, a smile gracing his features for the first time since Hermione had left; it smelt of her still.

_Something is scratching it's way out  
Something you want to forget about  
No one expects you to get up  
All on your own with no one around._

Hermione sat at the window of her new house, staring out into the night. Crumpled up in her lap was an old shirt of Sirius', she had snuck in and taken it before she left. Bringing it up to her nose she smelled it, a smile gracing her features for the first time since she had left; it smelt of him still.

a/n hey I finally got the chap up, sorry about the wait. I wasn't going to put a song in but I ended up putting it in anyway. The song is by The Fray – Little House


	20. An Apologies

A/n okay, now I know I take forever normally writing up my chapters, but im afraid Ill be taking even longer.

This is because Im grounded from the computer for six months  frickin devastating. Anyway, they've taking off all my stuff off my usb which includes the chapter I was soo close to finishing. If I were you readers I wouldn't keep a look out for this story for a while. It definitely will be finished but it'll take a while. sorry


	21. magic is real

A/n okay I know I say this like every chapter but I really am sorry about the delay. From now on I will probably be taking forever still cos I'm writing a novel and that might give me money so it kinda takes precedence.

Hermione walked out onto her front porch to greet Melanie as she walked up the drive, dragging a massive pile of bags along behind her.

"Hey Melanie, how are you this morning?" Hermione said nervously as Melanie looked up and grinned at her. She was going to tell Melanie that she was a witch, so that she wouldn't have to hide it the whole time they were living together.

When they had gotten Melanie's bags up to the front hall Hermione asked, "Would you like to come into the living room? I have something to show you."

Melanie sat on the couch waiting expectantly, and Hermione fidgeted nervously, she had never actually told any muggles about her powers, and her parents were there when she read her Hogwarts letter.

"Umm… well you see Melanie; you know those children's stories about magic?"

"Ooh yes, I always wanted it to be real!"

"Well the thing is that they are real and I'm a witch and I can do magic." Hermione said in rush sure that Melanie would think that she was mad.

"Really; can I see?"

"Huh?

"Can I see you do magic?"

"Yeah, I guess you can."

During the war the 'no magic in front of muggles' law was abolished because so many muggles saw magic that it was stretching the ministry aurors dangerously thin.

Hermione pulled out her wand and thought a little while about what she was going to show her. Looking around she saw that one of Melanie's suitcases was broken. Deciding what she would do, she swirled her wand and said,_ 'reparo' _Melanie watched with complete silence and excitement that had her almost vibrating.

Once the suitcase was completely repaired she got up and walked over to her suitcase. She ran her hands around the area that had been broken.

She turned to Hermione and said, "I've been trying to get that fixed for years, none of the repairers said it was possible, and that it was too old. My mother gave that to me so I could travel the world."

Hermione smiled happy that she had made Melanie happy. "so you aren't going to go running from my house screaming, are you?"

"No, are kidding me? This is so awesome!"

"You can't tell though, um, we, that is the ministry for magic don't want muggles to know so you can't tell anyone at all." Hermione chewed her lip worriedly thinking she really should have brought this point up earlier.

Sirius woke up with a hell of a hangover the sight of McGonagall standing over him, lips pursed disapprovingly and tapping her foot.

Sirius yelped in shock and jumped back; falling out of the bed and onto the floor.

"What the hell? Don't do that," Sirius whined grumpily.

"You should be looking for Miss Granger, not bar hopping around town. I am disgusted by you Mr Black."

"I can't find her. She's the smartest witch of her age. If she doesn't want to be found she won't be found."

"Actually Mr Black that is why I am here; we have had news, someone named Ms H. Granger hired a housekeeper In a small town about five hours away from here."

Sirius sat straight up, still on the floor, "then what are we waiting for? You should have told me immediately, come on lets go!"

He started struggling to get up, his feet tangled in the bed covers.

"oh no, Mr Black I'm not going to tell you where she is until you have a shower, get dressed and have a proper breakfast."

Sirius looked crestfallen for a minute then ran to his bedroom, "wait downstairs I'll be out soon." He called as he half ran towards the bathroom, towel in hand.

Professor McGonagall made her way down the stairs shaking her head in exasperation.

A/n okay I got this up quicker than I thought I would. Geez I'm sorry about the long waits you guys put up with, I also enabled anonymous reviewing so y'all can flame me & stuff about my crappy updating history ;)


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